My nightly routine:

Drive straight to the gym from work;
Change clothes and put my hair up;
Head out into the weight room and start hitting the weights;
Think about doing cardio;
Grumble a bit;
Then do it! :)

I then drive home, trying not to hit anyone after doing legs (this is a dangerous feat, let me tell you), eat either ground turkey, egg whites, or chicken with fresh spinach, answer e-mails and message board threads, and watch Seinfeld, Will & Grace, and Frasier reruns. I'm hooked!

And as I sit here and watch Niles and Daphne flirt openly now that Daphne walked out on her groom-to-be, I am trying to ignore the soreness that has already started in my glutes and will be traveling into my hamstrings by late tomorrow. I did legs tonight and pretty much exhausted myself!

The routine is as follows:

Superset
Lying leg curls - 3x12-15x45 lbs.
Reverse hyperextensions - 3x30 (no weight)

Superset
Squats (butt to the floor nearly!) 3x15x135 lbs. (slow and controlled)
Walking lunges (around the entire weight room, which equaled about 40 per leg!) 3x40 lbs.

Superset
Lying leg curls again 3x20x25 lbs.
Leg press (secret...narrow stance and feet very high on the platform) 3x20x315 lbs. (This really attacked my glutes and should be helping with my quad sweep.)

Now, the weights aren't incredibly high, but remember, I'm trying to keep my legs from growing and am actually trying to minimize them just a bit more, so I can't lift as heavily as I'd like. But the reps are higher and much more controlled as far as the pace goes. I'm really trying to keep my mind focused on the muscles that I need to work on rather than just thinking about getting the weight up (like I did with powerlifting).

I did shoulders yesterday, and luckily with my delts, I can lift as heavy as I like! They are sore today, so that's a very good sign! I did shoulder presses with dumbbells, front laterals with a dumbbell, side laterals with dumbbells, and rear laterals with dumbbells. I started off with high reps and then dropped the reps and upped the weights with each set, finishing off each exercise with a nice drop set! Burn baby, burn! Lol!

And now, I'm off to crawl into bed and catch about six or seven hours of sleep. Luckily, I have New Year's Eve as just a half day at work, and so I should be able to come home, take a nap, and work on the computer a bit. I have new pictures to scan in for y'all (Women's Physique World photos...halter top and jeans) and lots of other things to work on, and then off to dinner I'll go! Wednesday's a rest day and a cheat meal day, so I'll be a happy girl then! :)

Enjoy the rest of your week!

Jodi

“The center is not always the point of balance. When you find that place where balance is achieved, peace will result in all situations. There is no conflict, for everything rests without strain.”

—Daniel Levin, Zen Cards

In recent entries, I have discussed the instability of my mental focus. For a time, I was wondering if everything I’m doing to prepare for these shows was truly worthwhile. When a recent e-mail questioned why I spent so much time working out and inquired whether I shouldn’t provide myself with more freedom to do what I want, I had to sit and ask myself these very same questions. And the answer I came up with? Well, it wasn’t an easy task, but I finally realized that the point in which I achieve my balance may be quite different from where someone else achieves theirs. And I’m okay with that.

The first of the year will be barreling through the door before we know it, and the bodybuilding/fitness/figure in season will be arriving with it. You will soon see the true impact that competition prep has on an athlete’s life as I take you with me on my journey to the Junior USA’s in April. And you too may question whether it is all worth it. But just remember that each of us makes different decisions in our lives, and it is these very choices that make us who we are. You don’t always have to travel within the lines of society’s road. If you veer to the left or to the right more than others in front of you or behind you, it doesn’t mean that you will end up in a ditch. You just might find a whole new adventure, new scenery, and new options . . . and that sense of balance for which we all seem to search.

Okay, enough seriousness. I watched the Women’s Physique World video that was taped back in August at a New Jersey gym. I will tell you right now that it is worth getting, and no, WPW is not paying me to say that, and I do not get any of the proceeds from that video. But if you want to see me lifting a few weights and you want a true sense of just how tiny (and yet strong) I am, this is the best way to do it (well, you could attend one of my shows in 2004 and cheer so loudly that the judges won’t be able to think straight and then I’ll finally get my pro card!). I go head to head with a national-level lightweight bodybuilder and really hold my own against Lindsay, who outweighs me by at least 20 pounds.

I must say, though, that I had a good laugh while watching this video. I’ve never seen myself lift weights and have never witnessed how I conduct myself in a photo shoot. But I came to this conclusion: I am a dork. Plain and simple. No getting around it.

But it was motivating watching the video. I could look at my physique and see what areas needed improvement. For example, my back definitely needs to be wider and thicker, and I’m achieving that. I saw a new little bump and line in my upper back just tonight, and I’m very excited about that! Also, by working with Mike Davies, I sacrificed a lot of muscle in my glutes in order to drop the muscle in my quads, and while that needed to be done to some extent, I can see that it occurred just a bit too much. I’m fixing that now. Also, my abs sucked. Now, I did eat a cheeseburger, fries, and some of my homemade cookies (along with some of the other girls’ homemade goodies) the night before the shoot. So that definitely created some smoothness in the ab and glute regions. But I really struggled with my lower abs throughout all the shows in 2003, and I attribute some of that to Mike’s insistence on having glutamine during my last week before the shows and on eating a red apple every day even though I felt it bloated me. But you live and you learn, and we’ll see what happens in 2004 with some of these items taken care of. I’ll be taking you through some of these details as the weeks go on. You’ll see how even the tiniest of matters can make all the difference in the world.

Anyway, I ramble, as usual. I enjoyed the tape. It was entertaining and gave me a good laugh, but it also helped me to remain focused. I’ll return to it several times before stepping on stage again in April, and if you get a chance to view, please start a thread on the board and let me know what opinions you have. There is an interview at the end of the video, and I seem to talk almost as much as I write. You have my heartfelt permission to press the mute button or the stop button and shut me up! Lol!

Okay, I’m off to cook my meals for tomorrow. I just started the Ripped Fuel capsules this weekend, so that’s a sign that the in season is just around the corner. New Year’s Eve will probably be my last all out cheat meal just for the heck of cheating. And I’ll be back on the two-a-days in just one week. My sprints started back up last week, and I bought two new pairs of tennis shoes to help keep my shins from hurting. I was in a bit of pain over the weekend after running in last season’s shoes that have lost their cushioning. My ankles, shins, calves, and knees were in tatters!

I did shoulders this afternoon and have legs tomorrow. I’ll detail the workouts when I come home from the gym tomorrow evening. In the meantime, enjoy your work week or your vacation and be thinking of those resolutions! I know I’ve made mine!

Jodi

I'm a day late, and I do apologize for that! I usually try to do this on Sundays, but I lost track of time, and next thing I knew I had egg whites to crack, ground turkey to cook, almonds to package up, and gym clothes to pack.

I hit a bit of a slump this off season, and I discussed that in my last entry. I'd like to share a poem with you that I wrote the end of the week. It seemed to act as a catharsis, and my motivation has sprung back into action. I don't know that I want to post it to the writings section because it is still in rough draft form, and it is quite depressing if you only take it at face value.

One Season

I bend and twist and try desperately not to break
I fight against winds rushing past, threatening my resolve
My leaves fall and disintegrate beneath my roots
And still I stand tall

My bark is brittle, my wood scratched.
My limbs are empty, my branches have cracked
I look about and see brown patches
And I think of life
And death
And my own existence.

I want to sit
I want to rest
I want to think
I want to dream
I want to create
I want to grow

Under heavy rains I droop
Amidst immense heat, I struggle
Within the scrutiny of owners’ eyes, I nearly fall
I cannot bear to look at myself
I am not what I was six months ago

Year after year, a cycle continues
My desperation is clear
Attention from the sun is what I desire
The feel of new buds bursting from my tough skin
A new life, a new start, a new reality

And yet,
I just want to know
How to live for today
And not wait for tomorrow.

I'm sure everyone has heard the saying that life is a bowl of cherries. I know I talked about this simile in a post on the public site. The bittersweet taste of breathing and doing and existing can really tear into a person. There are the juicy bits that excite you and make you tremble. There are those cherries that taste like spun sugar and make you believe heaven really does exist. There are the soggy ones that disappoint you, for their skin looked so deep and rich in their vibrant color. And there are the pits that chip your teeth, choke your throat, and create more work for you. But we still eat the cherries. Why is that?

I think the same question can be asked of working out (or doing any extraordinarily grueling task). The pain, the stress, the strain can really wear a person down; we hobble out of the gym moaning and groaning; we growl at the alarm clock when it rings us out of bed earlier than we'd like; we choke down the same foods and watch with envy as others are free to care only about instant gratification. It's as if we're punishing ourselves. But in reality, the pits of training are only one aspect to the entire cherry of being fit. We are stronger for it. We appreciate life and ourselves more. We grow and mature and even create new personas as a result of our dedication and determination. We push ourselves farther than we could ever have thought possible.

I am living for today, for now, for this moment. I don't know how many this moments there will be, so I better make sure I'm pleased with the ones I've experienced. I reached a turning point while doing cardio today. I finally believe I can achieve the status of a pro. It will be so hard, so difficult, so strenuous. I may cry. I may moan in pain. I may struggle through a workout. I may crave. But what I will not do is give in.

My rest week did what it was meant to do. It gave me a bit of strength that no weights in the gym could have ever provided. My mind sits in the proper place...in support of myself. I'm not just ready for a new year. I'm ready for the new experiences that will take place within it.

The new year's entries will take you through these new experiences, and once my warm up week is over, I'll begin posting several of my workouts each week as well as an overview of my nutrition plan. Pictures will not be posted before February. At that point, I will display the beginnings of my progress into the Junior USA's. I welcome you to stay tuned. You and I will be in for quite a ride, for I will be unveiling to both of us the changes that I think I have made during this off season. I hope my physique will not disappoint!

Best wishes to all of you, and thank you so very much for being there for me.

Thoughts have moved through my mind like water rushing along a muddy ditch during spring showers. This has been one off season that I haven't been focused, nor motivated, like I have been in the past, and it's bothered me quite a bit.

I've had to ask myself whether I truly want this pro card. I've said I want it, but deep down inside, at the end of the day, when all is said and done, is it there, in my heart, for me to want to win? To most people, this would seem like a waste of time to think about. After all, an outsider would say, you spend how much money on this sport, and what do you get for it? Ditch it, have a few drinks with friends, and live your life finally! Stop keeping so many enjoyable activities just out of arm's reach.

But would I be happy with that? I know I wouldn't. I do want that pro card. It's not because I've worked so long, I shouldn't give up now. Sure, that's a part of it. But deep down inside, it's in my blood. I want to succeed. I want to see my efforts come to fruition, and that would be in the form of being able to stand on stage with great competitors like Dina al Sabah, Monica Brant, and a multitude of others who represent the dedication, grace, class, and motivation that I aspire to achieve.

I'm on a rest week. No weights, no sprints, no cardio, no nothing! Just me, a strict diet, plenty of sleep, lots of mental rest, and an ability to recuperate and get back on track. Friday marks my day when I'll be back in the gym and busting butt again.

I had to do a few visualizations tonight and see myself succeeding. I then had to make a list of pros and cons of my physique and my appearance on stage. It's a brutally honest one, and I'll share a few cons: shoulders are too small and narrow and need to be much fuller, denser; lower abs leave a lot to be desire and need to come in much leaner and more noticeable next year; quads are still too bulky and need better shape; back needs a bit more widening to make my waist look tinier; my cute look needs to transfer more into an elegant look and suit design, hairstyle change, and use of make up can contribute to that. There were several other things on the list, but you get the jist of it.

So many of you have been so great and telling me so many positive things, but I have to take a step back from those compliments and look at me like a judge would...in a scrutinizing manner. I'm up there with 40 or 50 girls who have also dieted down, pounded out the reps in the gym, and struggled through the strenuous sessions of cardio. What will make me stand out? What will make me different and good enough to earn the placing that will win a pro card?

I'll be spending this rest week devising a plan for an attitude change. I've been down on myself and down on my abilities to do well. That has to change. Without confidence, I will never succeed.

And without a continuation in this sport, I won't grow as a person. I put in the general section of the board (if you haven't gotten onto the board, I highly suggest doing so...some great discussions are flourishing there) a quote about finding yourself and creating yourself. Take a look. Let me know what you think. And then correlate with your life. Are you creating yourself? Or are you just going with the flow and letting the current of water push you along?

Just some deep thoughts for the start of the week.

Jodi

Here we are at the start of another week. Do you ever get the feeling of wanting to do so many things but not knowing where the time is going? I've been so caught up in training and in work that I've let a lot of other things go. I've decided that every day, I need at least an hour or so to myself to do something that is just so selfish and so not involved with training. I've been remiss in catching up with reading, in doing my cross stitch (I think the dust is beginning to fill in the parts of the linen cloth that I haven't stitched in, and soon I'll be able to frame it and hang up with the design that those dust bunnies have created...sad, sad, sad!), in hanging out with friends.

There is one thing I definitely want to do. On December 17th, the third Lord of the Rings movie comes out, and I'm dying to see it. I'll save it for the following Saturday when I can really relax and have a treat (I love Twizzlers) and just lose myself in the storyline. If anyone sees it before I do, you must post on the boards and inform me of whether you liked it or not. Just don't tell me the ending!

Okay, onto the stuff that y'all are probably most interested in: my training. I've begun to drop a little bit of fat and water, so I'm beginning to see the shape that my body is taking, and I must say, I'm a bit tickled to see the fruits of my efforts starting to pay off. I won't display the progress until the beginning of February, at which time I'll begin the serious dieting down and heavy cardio training and consistent sprinting every week (won't that be just a jolly good time...lol!). But my symmetry is beginning to become evident. My legs have not seemed to put on any size, just changed a slight bit of shape, and my back...whoa, my back is truly getting wider and thicker, and after you hear of my workout from today, you'll understand why.

I began with regular lat pulldowns, but see, I changed my grip a couple of months ago and instead of using such a wide grip, I have narrowed it a bit so that my hand placement is almost dead even with the width of my shoulders (now remember, my shoulders are a bit narrow). I now feel this exercise deep along the lower portion of the lats and the low trapezius area. I never felt this exercise there before! And guess what?! I did this with 100 pounds on the first two sets and then 110 pounds on the last set. I was quite proud (and walking around the gym like a peacock with my feathers...umm...wings...umm lats spread out). Of course, that's not all that I did tonight. I supersetted that with overhand grip cable rows. After three sets of that, I moved to reverse grip bent over rows with a 100-pound bar. The key to this exercise is to be sure your back is pulling the weight and not your biceps. I use a false grip to help ensure this a bit more. A false grip just means that your thumb is hooked along the bar in the same direction as your fingers, instead of being wrapped around the bar against your fingers.

I finished up my back workout with a superset of close grip pulldowns and close grip lat extensions. Talk about total exhaustion!

Oh yeah, I also did hyperextensions...sets of 20. I took a few weeks off of these. My goal is not to build a big lower back but to instead keep it tight and tiny. And I'm pretty proud of myself: I did abs three times last week, as I promised myself I would.

I've been going into the gym later at night...around 7:30 or 8 p.m. I know that throughout December and January, there will be an influx of people who are desperately trying to shed that pound of cookies and gallon of egg nog they destroyed at the company holiday party, so I'll be anxiously awaiting February and March when it begins to die down a bit. It's almost impossible to superset--much less tri set or do a giant set--when you never know who is going to steal your machine (and of course it's my machine! Everything's mine when I step into the gym...lol! Yeah...on what planet?!). And then there are the people who just join a gym to find a date. What's up with that? The other week, when I walked into the gym, I saw a guy chatting it up with a girl who had a very disinterested look on her face. When I finished my workout (legs and plyos...so you know it was a lengthy one), they were still in the same spot and still jibber jabbering away and showing no signs of leaving. Almost two hours! And look at the amount of reps and sets he could have done!

When I go into the gym, I like to slide the headphones on, plaster a grim look on my face, go grrr at anyone who dares to interrupt my workout, and then race from dumbbell to dumbbell or barbell to barbell and get through the workout so I can get through cardio so I can go home and EAT! And sleep!

Well, I think I've worked your eyeballs enough. And mine are a bit tired too, so I'm off to take a shower and get ready for bed. It's an early morning tomorrow and a full week at work (lots and lots and lots to do...will the work never end???), so I need my beauty sleep.

Only 18 days until Christmas! Please post on the boards what you're doing for the holidays and what your wish list is for Santa this year! Mine's a new car...but methinks that won't be occurring this year! Lol! A toy car might be in the works, though...lol!

Take care and have a great week. I'll definitely write again by Wednesday.

Jodi :)