I was raving mad at the gym today! The gym I work out at is basically your typical "meat market" type of facility with girls in their tight little tops and tight little shorts and guys who grunt and pretend to lift weights but really work their jaws more than their muscles as they try to pick up the girls rather than the weights. Meanwhile, there's me, sweats, t-shirt or tank top, hair in ponytail, practically make up free, headphones blaring, and angry look on my face as I pounce on the weights. Well, I'm in the aerobics room doing my plyometrics (that's where the benches and jump ropes are), and an instructor walks in and says, "You can't be in here. You'll have to leave because I have to lock this area up." I told her, "No." She didn't seem to like that and told me that I had to go. I proceeded to tell her that I pay my gym fees and thus have the right to work out in the room and am going to finish my workout and will then leave. She still didn't like that and went to get the manager. In the meantime, I continued with my workout (with a bit more fuel in my explosive jumps onto and off of the bench).

Well, the manager strolled in and tried to get me to leave. I went through the same speech with him and explained that I had been attending this gym for years and am a competitor and would like a little respect and that I just need ten minutes and would then be out of there. He didn't like this either and explained that I needed to leave right then so he could lock up the room. I refused. I told him, "I pay for the use of this room and when you have signs posted stating that regular gym goers cannot use the room, only group exercise attendees, then I'll be happy to not step into the room." Well, he then said, okay, that starts tonight. I said, "No. I have ten minutes left and I'm finishing my workout. Period." He finally conceded and left. I'm a little fireball when I don't like how things are going, and this annoyed me to no end because he wanted me to stop my workout and leave an empty room that I pay for the usage of. Ridiculous!

Anyway, he came by later once I had left the room and was on the elliptical to do my cardio for the evening. He told me I jumped all over him when he was being polite. I told him, "Look, you interrupted my workout, told me to stop my workout and leave the room, and here I am, a few months out from a major show, and you can't give me the respect I deserve for being a responsible gym goer who has paid her monthly fees for years and brings your gym business." I also mentioned that while I bring the gym business, I could just as easily take the business away. I also explained that he was cutting me off from a portion of the gym that I pay for, and until such time that $10 or more is taken off of my monthly dues, I have every right to use the room. He just nodded and walked off.

In essence, the night manager was informed and is going to do what he can to implement some changes. It seems that a couple of mirrors had been broken by some idiots who don't know what they're doing and were in the room unsupervised. But I explained that I know exactly what I'm doing, and what they're asking is that even thought I pay a membership for use of the facility, I need to go elsewhere to do a portion of my workout. I further explained that on top of everything there was no notice posted on the walls of the room and no notice mailed out to members to forewarn us of the changes. The guy agreed that I had made some excellent points and would do what he could to ensure my ability to use the room.

Long story, but my point is that I'm angry because this gym is a prime example of a business not supporting someone who can bring them good publicity and thus more members. I have tried for years to get them to drop the fees by a third or by half and have found other gyms that are willing to do this, but they still refuse to budge. I stick with them because they are open all hours and I can go in there at 5 a.m. or at 1 a.m. and get my workouts in, so I'm not stressed by time constraints. But I am seriously considering switching to another gym that is smaller, much more hardcore (they play loud, thumpin' music and even have chalk for deadlifts and such). Their hours aren't as conducive to my schedule, but I'd rather be somewhere that respects and understands the hard work and dedication involved in competing in the bodybuilding and fitness industry rather than a fancy pancy gym that caters to the revolving door of obese Americans who join, use the facility for a few weeks, and then drop off and never cancel their memberships. I'm not a number. I'm not a dollar sign. I'm a weightlifter who loves pumping iron! And when things aren't going the way I think they should, I speak up! So American, watch out! Lol! :)

Thank you for letting me have my little tirade this Monday evening!

By the way, I just downed a lovely chocolate peanut butter shake. Mmm mm mmmmmm! :)

Jodi

I just got back from the gym where I trained arms and killed my biceps! I really think they have grown, but the progress pics will tell that. Next weekend I'll present photos. My legs aren't where I want them to be yet, but they are definitely getting there. I'm sitting at about 110 to 111 pounds in the mornings and have about eight or nine pounds left to lose and have 12 weeks to do it in. I am actually ahead of schedule now and might have to up my calories and carbs or even throw in a healthy cheat meal. I've been without a cheat meal for over three weeks and am nervous about having one now and creating a resurfacing of cravings. Physically, my body can handle the extra bit of fats and junk food, but mentally, my mind cannot, and right now, my focus is so on target that it's not worth it to me to eat fries or hamburgers or pizza or cheesecake. So, I'll probably just make a kind of fajita salad and crisp up corn tortillas and make low fat tortilla chips out of that and use olive oil and avocado to add the fat in. And I'll have a chocolate protein shake a couple of hours after the cheat meal to take care of the sweet tooth. I know I've reached true dedication when I am willing to pass on yummy restaurant foods for the sake of remaining on track. Actually, I know I've truly lost my mind when I've reached this point in the dieting phase!

Okay, I'm sitting here pouting because I know I'm spending the entire journal entry talking about me, me, me, and while the website is completely centered around me, I'm not feeling like talking about me anymore tonight (a very strange phenomenon for an only child...lol!). So I think it's time to hop in the shower and get into bed. Later this week, I'll post Dover Beach, a poem that I was reading this weekend, and let you know my thoughts on it. It poses some very interesting ideas about faith that men have in a higher power and the disappearance of it and the strength and weaknesses they carry within themselves. And now I'm just rambling, so I now I've got to get some shut eye!

Enjoy your Monday! :)

Jodi

I must forewarn you. This will not be one of my more eloquent and inspiring posts, but I do want to inform you of how my training is progressing.

I am officially at 111 pounds. This means that I have lost between four and five pounds since January 1st, which equates to about one to one-and-a-half pounds a week. Everything is going according to the plan. Today, I did cardio with my best friend who had gone with me to Junior USA's last year, and I showed her my physique; her eyes widened, and she exclaimed, "Wow!" She instantly noticed the changes in my lat spread, the thickness and cuts in my back (it's the first area of my physique to lean out, and thus it'll be the first area that you'll get to see in the progress pics), the roundness in my shoulders, the improvements in my calves. She stated that my waist looked tiny from both the front and side poses. So, once again, everything is going according to the plan.

My path from here? To drop the bodyfat, put on more muscle, tighten up my skin, and remain focused, motivated, and positive. Now, you might ask how does someone drop bodyfat and still put on muscle mass. That's an extremely good question. For me, it entails a continuation of heavy lifting mixed with a complete absence of cheat meals for a lengthy period of time and an overall dedication to just get the work done no matter how low the carbs get for the day and no matter how intense the cardio becomes.

I have begun two-a-days of cardio, but it's not every day as of yet. It's amounting to three or four times a week, with an average of 40 minutes per session. I still have one rest day every seven to fourteen days depending on how I'm feeling. And I've gotten away from the set schedule where every Monday is back day, every Tuesday is leg day, etc., etc. I do the muscle group that is next in line no matter what day it happens to fall on. I like this much more!

I'm incorporating plyometrics and have done circuits of jump lunges, jump squats, box jumps (both front and lateral jumps), jump rope, mountain climbers . . . the list goes on and on! I get a little dizzy during many of the workouts, which is due to the low carbs, but I push through it anyway unless it's really bad. I have a horrible habit of planning ahead and thinking of what is next while I'm doing whatever is currently on the list of activities, and thus, I spend part of my workout worrying about how I'm going to make it through a half hour of calves when I still have 20 minutes of legs to do. I have to stop that and just think of the here and now. I should go back and re-read that quote from The Horse Whisperer, shouldn't I?!

I just e-mailed my seamstress today and will await her response, but we should start planning on fabric/color choices and suit cut ideas. I am still liking the colors I had last year--green and burgundy--but I'm shaped differently now and do need new suits. Expensive, but necessary! My goal is to have both suits done by the first week in April if possible and just need to make minor adjustments. Please remember that if you happen to see a flat-chested Jodi one day and a buxom Jodi (as buxom as I can get...lol!) the next day, all credit is due to Victoria's Secret gel inserts. No, I have not gotten implants and will not get them!

Oh yes, I started this journal entry to discuss training! I really do go off on tangents, don't I?! Lol! Anyway, I did shoulders tonight and had a very nice workout. High reps with side lateral raises. The weight was light--only ten pound dumbbells--but the rep range was 20 to 25, and the lifts were slow and controlled, all emphasis placed on the side delts and arms kept almost straight (just a slight bend at the elbow, and the elbow joint was kept parallel with the shoulder joint and slightly higher than the wrist joint).

I then moved on to dumbbell shoulder presses. I started off with 30-pound dumbbells for a set of nine (I tried for ten but couldn't get that last one to go through to completion). I dropped the weight to 27.5 and got two more sets of 10 with very strict and controlled form. I can do 35 pound dumbbells for sets of six to eight, but those do hurt my left elbow and my left shoulder (the elbow suffered tremendously from tendonitis when competing in the Galaxy and the shoulder was injured in a car accident in college). I was quite pleased.

Front lateral raises with a dumbbell were next and I finished off with rear delts, using a rope and the cable to pull the weight. I went up to 90 pounds with this one for sets of 18!!

I did plyometrics and then finished off with 20 minutes on the elliptical and 20 minutes on the recumbant bike and passed the time by reading the Merlin Trilogy (beginning with the Crystal Cave) and becoming disgusted by Fear Factor's Couples' Challenge. Uck...that's all I have to say for that program!

I was supposed to go to a movie with my best friend and see the latest Lord of the Rings, but her washing machine broke, and I hate going to movies alone (I love to rent them and curl up on the couch and watch them alone while snuggled up in an afghan, but I don't like sitting a movie theater by myself...weird, huh?), so I missed out on seeing this AGAIN!!! One day...one day!

I'm off to eat my last meal...egg whites and asparagus. Tomorrow I get avocado in my salad...yum! Most days I just have a tablespoon of flaxseed oil, and let me tell you, that stuff is just plain nasty. There are no other words! You should see my face when I take a spoonful of it. Not a pretty sight!

By the way, who is going to the Arnold? Flight and hotel are both officially booked! I'm soooo excited! More details will be coming as soon as I hear of my schedule.

Enjoy the rest of your week, and I'll stop by again before Friday arrives.

Jodi :)

I'm walking on cloud nine tonight! Not only did I have an awesome shoulder workout (one arm side delt raises with 20-pound dumbbells), but I found out from CytoSport today that I will be working at their booth at the Arnold Expo on March 5th, 6th, and 7th, along with about three or four other girls. I'm checking to see if I can bring photographs, and I will be more than happy to sign them if you are able to attend the Arnold and can make it through the crowd to find me.

Last year, the Expo was so jam-packed with people, I was scared I was going to suffocate in all the armpits! Yuck! And I had to cart all of my food and my jug of water everywhere since I didn't have a booth to call home. This year will be tons of fun, and I'll be able to cheer on the pros, chat with friends and fellow competitors, and meet so many new people. I'm sooooo excited! This year is off to a great start, and I hope that it is a good sign of more to come!

Please get on the boards and let me know if you're planning on going to the Arnold and will be able to stop by so I can be looking for y'all.

Enjoy the rest of your week. I have legs tomorrow and thankfully very little cardio. But Wednesday seems to be a very low carb day (one meal of carbs...it'll be tough, but I'll get through it). I'll tell you about leg day and back day when I recover later this week...lol! Take care! :)

Jodi

In almost every edition of Ray Bradbury's novel, Fahrenheit 451, I can find a quote that starts the reader off on Montag's fiery journey into finding himself and doing what he believes in the most. It reads, "If they give you ruled paper, write the other way." Juan Ramon Jimenez is the author, and I have no idea who he is. I never really researched it, but if anyone can venture an answer, I'd love to know!

The reason why I bring this quote up is because I want to ask how many times do you go against the grain of society and do what you feel is right for yourself? When is it okay to step off the path of conformity and risk being ostracized in order to stay true to your own desires and needs?

There is a thread on one of the boards that I visit, Muscle Mayhem, that asks for the definition of femininity. I don't know that one can be presented, for isn't society in charge of determining the exact parameters for such an idea? And don't those parameters change as you move from one culture to the next and from one space in time to the next?

Am I feminine? I would say yes. My grandmother, on the other hand, actually uttered no about two years ago. She blurted out, in a linoleum-tiled, seventies-decorated condominium she was renting in Florida at the time, that I looked "like a man." I nearly cried. But instead I raged at her. Told her that the statement hurt and was mean. And while the statement really rattled me inside, I never quit doing what I felt was right for me.

Our choices really do make us who we are. I'm sitting here this evening thinking of cheating on my diet. I'm hungry; it's time for me to whip up some yummy egg whites, and I'm chewing endless pieces of gum so much so that one would think I fervently believed the Trident factory was about to suddenly shut down. I can actually visualize myself putting a hamburger, shoving a cookie, spooning ice cream into my mouth. I can feel the textures, taste the flavors. But...it stops there. This is my choice. And this one choice makes me stronger for tomorrow, for the next day, for next week, for next month, for the next show.

Every step we take makes us who we are. Where are your steps taking you? Professionally, I'm not sure where mine are going. I am currently looking for another job due to a boss that is so stuck within her own mindset that she will drown in her need for perfection, bitterness, and status symbols. I cannot succeed in the position that I took back in October, have even witnessed some promises being broken. I'm not happy in that job, and thus it's time to move on. But to where?

Many ask why I quit teaching. One reason was because I had lost some of my motivation and did not want to take it out on the students. Another reason was the politics and antics of the administration. I don't know that I ever fully went into this, but some of my bodybuilding photos were not looked upon kindly. I now have a website up and running, pictures everywhere on the internet. How do I stand in a classroom and receive respect and attention from students and colleagues when I've plastered my glutes all over the world wide web?

I guess this is where the quote comes into play. I have rarely been one to write within the lines of the ruled paper simply because the lines are there. I have always wanted to know why things are, how they came to be, and why I should follow them in that particular form. It drove my parents bonkers (still does), has ruffled a few feathers of powers that be in jobs because I don't...eloquent phrase approaching...kiss butt, and has frustrated a few trainers because I don't take training programs and nutrition plans blindly and silently. I am who I am.

My intelligence and capabilities had been questioned while I was teaching because of my looks and my hobbies. It's why I was stuck teaching ninth-grade and was only given one advanced class per semester. I had given an ultimatum my last year: move me up to eleventh or twelfth grade and provide me with a creative writing class or another advanced class or you may not find me here next year. I was told that they questioned whether I could handle the work because of my "hobby" and was also told that how I interacted with other teachers would be taken into consideration.

Being involved in bodybuilding tends to ostracize you because you are deemed as different. You are doing something that the general public does not wish to take the effort to do, and instead of being commended for it, you are sometimes punished for it. But it doesn't stop me from writing on the paper any which way I please. It's what has made me who I am today. And it's what will carry me into tomorrow.

That being said, let's get onto the stuff y'all probably actually want to hear: my competition prep.

I am now at 113 pounds. I'm doing cardio twice a day for three to four days out of the week, and I haven't had a cheat meal or food item since December 31st. The separation in my delts is beginning to appear, and the vein in my biceps is evident. My abs are beginning to come in, and my back is just freaky! I think I'm proudest of the improvements I've made in that area alone! I also fit into a pair of size 0 jeans that always cause some consternation when trying to squeeze my huge butt into them and then struggling to button them up.

My Ripped Fuel is up to three capsules a day. I have begun taking one before breakfast, one at lunch, and one before my workout. I will soon be mixing that with caffeine in order to increase my metabolism even more. When March comes along, I'll most likely be doing an ECA stack, which I have not tried before.

The almonds have been deleted from the diet for the most part. Flaxseed oil has taken their place, and I still have the avocado slices two days a week. I add them to a spinach salad with a bit of rice vinegar in the evening and include my protein as a separate dish, and it's one of my favorite meals besides the protein shake. My carbs are fluctuating a bit. Today I had a shake with 1/4 cup of oats and another shake with nothing added in and those were my only two meals with carbs. It was a lower carb day due to it being a rest day. I got my toes and nails done (pink on my toes, a light pearl color on my hands...y'all are just shaking from excitement with this info, I bet! Lol!), and that was a nice treat for me. Tomorrow I'll have three meals of carbs because I'm doing cardio in the morning for 40 minutes, doing a shoulder workout that will heavily stress my side delts in the evening, and finishing off with a 45-minute walk on a high incline treadmill. Lots of activity, so I need more energy!

My biceps are sore today. I did 21's with the barbell yesterday and dumbbell curls as well. I ended biceps with lying cable curls. This is my favorite exercise to do, and I was up to 70 pounds yesterday. I've done as much as 75, but I usually keep the reps in the 12 to 15 range and even do drop sets, so I don't always use a max weight. Triceps were okay. I struggle with skull crushers and keeping my elbows closer together, but I enjoyed the close grip pushdowns on the cable and even threw in an extra set for the heck of it.

The new Linkin Park CD and an old Alice in Chains CD are keeping me entertained and fired up in the gym. I'm loving my new CD player and have not had a bad workout since wearing it! Music does make a difference in my case.

But right now, the sound of sleep is music to my ears, so on that note (sorry...lots of bad puns), I'm off to eat my last meal of egg whites and spinach and head to bed.

I wish all of you a great week!

Jodi :)

"As a drowning man wants air, as the lover seeks their beloved, this is the way you must focus on that which you want. This intensity of concentration will remove all obstacles."

--Daniel Levin, Zen Cards

Yes, I've been thumbing through those Zen cards again! But this quote really hits home with me right now. In season officially began on New Year's Day. I went to the gym, did my chest routine, ran on the treadmill for 40 minutes straight (talk about exhausted!), and stuck to my diet one hundred percent. There is no more fooling around. This is the real deal. Food is no longer a sumptious treat meant to tantalize the tastebuds and soothe the soul. It is a means to an end.

The high amounts of protein in the form of egg whites, chicken breasts, extra lean ground turkey, bits of steak from time to time, and shakes will enable my muscles to grow. The cycling of carbs will be determined by the activity for the day. On days that are just cardio, I will obviously take in fewer complex carbs. On days that involve weight training along with cardio, complex carbs will become more abundant in the diet. I'm restricted to oats, sweet potatoes, cream of rice, and regular potatoes at the moment. My fat source will officially change this week from almonds to flaxseed oil (yucky!). I am allowed a few slices of avocado a couple of times a week depending on how my body is looking. I can have veggies like spinach, broccoli, green beans, and asparagus. I sometimes saute' onions and green peppers along with some mushrooms and add them to my egg whites or mix them in with the ground turkey, and tomatoes can be chopped up as well, but some of those items will disappear in the last six to eight weeks.

Fruit is a delicacy for me. Strawberries and raspberries will be the mainstay and the simple purpose of the fruit is to have fast-acting carbs that will get into my bloodstream immediately and provide instant energy. I tend to warm up the frozen berries and pour the juice and fruit over my plain egg whites and add a couple of packets of Splenda, and it's a tasty treat for me!

It's a rigid schedule. I eat six to seven times a day (basically every two and a half to three hours). I don't eat when I'm hungry. I eat when it's time to eat. I don't eat to savor the taste. I eat to get the calories and muscle-building properties and the energy. Again, it's all a means to an end. And my focus with the diet is dead on! No doubt about it! A friend of mine was eating a Snicker's bar in front of me. Not a drop of drool appeared on my chin. My boss munched on a chocolate truffle and presented an entire box of yummy, gooey, filled chocolate treats. It was as if my nose had turned off a switch, for I could not smell the richness of it like I normally would.

But it is my training that I am struggling with. Sure, I get in the gym and hit the weights, but I'm stopping at the rep amount that is stated on my training sheet rather than pushing for an extra three or five more. I'm stopping at the 40 minutes of cardio dictated on my plan rather than running an extra five minutes like I did in preparation for Junior Nationals last year. This cannot go on. Girls don't earn pro cards doing bare minimum. If I want this pro card badly enough, then I have to fight for it. I feel I did that to some extent yesterday in the gym.

Yesterday was an arm day, and I know it went well because my triceps are slightly pink and very sore to the touch and movement. The peak of my biceps burn everytime I flex. I used those muscles to the best of my ability yesterday. Here's what I did differently in the workout than I have done in the past few months. I added more reps until I felt like screaming. I pushed the weight until the muscle went numb and other muscles began kicking in and taking over. I even added a fourth set when only three were needed. I changed up an exercise that wasn't working too well (cable kickbacks) and switched it with one that I felt would do the trick (reverse cable pushdowns). Normally, those kickbacks would create an inferno in my triceps. Yesterday, they did nothing. I had to be creative, think quickly, and take a chance. That's what focus is about.

I also stuck with my cardio routine. I had done sprints and bounding exercises earlier in the day and ran two miles as fast as I could get this 114-pound body to go on an empty stomach (which wasn't very fast, mind you!). After the evening weight workout, I did another cardio session that lasted 45 minutes and consisted of walking on an eight percent incline for three minutes, doing alternate lunges with dumbbells for one minute, and running on a two percent incline for three minutes. My hips and butt were sore today, especially after the 40-minute session on the stepper this morning.

But it's worth it. My drive and focus are returning. I did four shows in almost as many months in 2003. It wore me down, and it's taken practically that long to recover. But I'm an obstinate little thing. Come hell or highwater, I will stand on that stage in April, in June, and in August, and be proud of the physique I'm presenting. I guarantee it or you won't see me on stage. Period!

And on that note, I'm going to eat my six egg whites and crawl into bed.

Jodi :)