Have you ever noticed that no matter how many times you untangle the wires to your headphones, they somehow end up ensnarled all over again the next time you pick up your Walkman, MP3 player, or iPod? I don’t understand the physics behind this (though I’m sure someone here is going to give me the proper explanation for it); all I know is that it is annoying. So, every workout begins with me undoing the knots that I just undid the day before and murmuring little curses at these dang wires that won’t stay straight. It would be easier to just go wireless, now wouldn’t it?

Of course, the same thing could be said about relationships. No matter how much you try to undo yourself from the person you were tangled with, the wires always end up getting crossed and ensnarled all over again, unless you go wireless and cut the ties.

And that’s precisely what I’ve had to do. In the present age of technological advancement, a forlorn lover has many avenues to get in touch with the object of his amoré. Be it text messaging, cell phone, e-mail, telepathy (okay, I’m smart but not that intellectually advanced; telepathy doesn’t work with me), one can send desperate messages of love, promise, and apologies until either he or his cell phone or his computer is blue in the face (or monitor). And so…snip snip went the scissors and the tangled wires do not exist anymore. The strings to my heart were cut, cell phone number changed, and ability to break my resolve erased. I’d say it’s working…five days of no contact and counting (believe me, in this relationship’s case, it’s a record).

See, I don’t want to have to untangle today what I spent hours (and hundreds of dollars…moving across country the first time isn’t cheap; the second time is even less cheap) undoing yesterday. I hate doing it with my iPod every time I step onto a piece of cardio equipment and every time I want to place dumbbells in my hand, so why would I want to encounter this ugly task in a relationship?

So, here’s the question. Can you really be friends with someone you just ended an intimate relationship with? In theory, it sounds great, and I’m sure it works for the same people who manage to decorate their houses for every single holiday and write their thank you cards for gifts they received earlier that same day. I’m just not one of those people. Honestly, I tried. But all I got were the entanglements. Each time I stepped away and then came back to be friends, I got ensnarled in the promises (empty ones) and the wonderful words (how is it guys know to say just the right thing to get just what they want and a girl’s brain cell power has an outage at that untimely moment?). I’m sure it can be done but most likely only with someone who hasn’t put such knots into the relationship that you need scissors and a new set of headphones to fix the damage that was done. And I don’t like knots (especially when they occur in two consecutive relationships).

Right now the only knots I plan on dealing with are those darned ones that my iPod keeps giving me. See, the idea of a thousand songs at my literal fingertips while I grunt, groan, and sweat is very appealing, and while I realize that grunting, groaning, and sweating can also be done with a guy, my iPod doesn’t talk back, doesn’t make empty promises (except how long it can last…lol), and will only repeat itself when I ask it to.

Now, if anyone comes up with wireless headphones, that was my idea first. I swear. The patent was in my head the moment I caught the headphone wire on my knee while straightening myself out of a kneeling position and nearly taking my head off at the same time (not funny…that was done in the gym and in public; I never said grace was my middle name). So if you’ve made millions off of this idea, I expect a percentage. I know, I know. The check is in the mail.

Jodi