For those of you wondering which lines you should not use on a woman, the following would be a good example of one such line.
Let me first set up the scene. I'm in between sets of my one arm cable rows. I'm focused. I'm sweaty. I'm bloated (it's almost that time of the month, but I won't go into details, for I remember a member complaining about me discussing Aunt Flo awhile back; forgive me for mentioning Mother Nature's gift to womankind...and I use the term "gift" very loosely). I'm wearing practically no make up. I'm dressed in all black. And I'm dead serious...I'm gonna get my back bigger if it hurts me really badly...lol! In other words, don't mess with me!
Workout boy: Wow! The first thing I noticed about you were those glutes!
Me (after I've cleared my throat): Really.
Workout boy: You could really hurt someone with those things!
Me: Ummm...thank you.
Okay, now is it just me, or would it have been honest and more effective to tell me, "I was just staring at your big ass and getting turned on"? He still would have received the same reaction, so why not tell the truth...ya know? It would have been much more fun for him in the process at the very least.
I think that was the most exciting thing that occurred to me today. Well, that and watching American Idol and trying to pick my jaw up from the floor from the atrocity of voices that seem to make it on that show. I have one question: how in the world do you not know you can't sing? Take me, for example. I turn the radio to such a high volume in the car so I can't hear myself sing. I scare myself, quite frankly. You couldn't pay me to go on American Idol. Wait, let me take that back. Someone might show up tomorrow and offer a million dollars and then I'd be stuck with that statement. So yeah...for a million bucks, I'd embarrass myself and wail on public television that encaptures several hundred thousand viewers per episode. But that's exactly what I know I'd be doing...wailing. Dogs come running when I sing. I promise...it's that bad.
And on that note, I'll talk with y'all later in the week.
Jodi
2 Comments:
Hey Jodi. I was just looking around for other blogs of people from Texas. Yours looked interesting and honest! As for American Idol, I gotta say that the beginning of the season is the best. That is when you can laugh at all the people that make fools of themselves. I was puzzled by this one girl who went on in a cow outfit and actually sounded halfway decent. But who is gonna take a girl in a cow outfit seriously to begin with?
As for jerk in the gym... it seems that there are a lot of those guys at gyms. It's too bad. There's actually an all womens gym down the street from me. I think those are great places for gals to work out in peace.
Well, a cow outfit is a lot less embarrassing than just all out forgetting the words to, "Baby, baby, don't leave me...don't leave me." (Insert Simon's posh British accent in total deadpan; it's funnier that way.) Now, for her sake, the girl who did this was quite young, but still. What could she possibly expect? That a heavy hand on the eyeshadow and puppy dog eyes would carry her through Hollywood? Uh uh.
As for the all women's gym, that has never been appealing to me. I should create another blog about this subject: the vast majority of women do not know how to spot. I should do a David Letterman's top ten things that women do while spotting their workout partner. Lol! It would be hilarious and include everything from pushing back their cuticles to picking lint off of their leggings to trying to figure out if the girl on the bench next to us has implants or if those boobs are real. Yeah...I know. This sounds so sexist, but I'm speaking the truth here (notice I said "most" women...not all, before some women freak out and ment try to come to their rescue).
Also, I kinda like guys. As amazing of an admission as that may be, it's true. And I like working out with guys. And you know what? For every jerk, there happens to be someone nice. The very next night while Amanda and I were on the stepper (well, she was on her stepper, and I was on mine), a young guy walked all the way upstairs from the weight room to the cardio room and said, "Excuse me. I don't mean to bother y'all, but I saw both of you working out earlier, and I just wanted to say that you both look great, and I really admire the work you put into this." He said it in such a shy, little boy manner. Both of us were quite flattered and thanked him, and he went on his merry way. Now that's someone who actually meant his comment and it was quite appreciated...much more than the "ass" comment from the night before.
Yeah...a girl wants to know she is attractive and that a guy "wants" her, so to speak. But some eloquence, grace, charisma, and charm go along way. A LONG way.
Jodi
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