There is a truly ugly side to human nature. Truly ugly. It's the one that feels the need to put down others in light of raising oneself up to a higher bar. Does it work? I can tell you that it honestly doesn't. I've tried it.
Yes...I have talked badly about someone behind their back, talked about how someone looked on stage and gossiped with a group of girls and been like a magnet to their words and brought my own baggage of insecurities with me. For isn't that the reason why we feel a need to insult others, to make others seem less than they are? Because of our own insecurities with our own abilities, looks, intellect, achievements? I don't know. It's such a natural reaction when someone brings up someone that you aren't fond of. You allow yourself to open your mouth and state things that you know you wouldn't necessarily state in quite that manner...or maybe not even anywhere within the realm of that manner...if that very same person were standing nose to nose with you. Or would you? How many of us truly have the gumption to tell someone we don't like that we don't like them and why?
Of course, I'm talking about the fitness industry, but it goes way further than that and moves out into the workplace as well. Isn't there a colleague, an employee, or a boss who just really rubs you the wrong way? Who do you tell? Or do you keep it in? Furthermore, why do they rub you the wrong way? What is it about them that you can't stand? And I seriously don't think anyone likes everyone. I just don't see that being possible, not with all the personalities and quirks of humans in today's world. It's just natural to not like someone.
Is it also natural for people to be mean and nasty. And should there be relief for that mean nature, that nastiness. Okay. I can see that. But should the relief be public? Should it be written? Should it be verbalized? Do you contain it to just one person? Two? Three? Where does it stop? Or do you hold it in and feel like a bubble that is about to pop?
I hate seeing this side of myself and would love it if I didn't have a mean bone in my body. On the other hand, I'd love to be totally honest and frank about my opinions of many people. Does that make me bad? I think girls deal with this a lot worse than guys, for we tend to see each other and say how pretty our hair is and what a nice purse that is and say definitely we'll get together for lunch sometime, just call me. And of course we know full well that as soon as the object of our "compliments" is out of sight, we'll turn to the warm body next to us and gripe and complain about her implants, her liposcution, and her fake nails...and won't bat an eye at the fact that we may not know facts about the girl at all. The nasty words just flow from our mouths and we state them with eagerness. It's like it's a weight off of our shoulders to state these negative things, whether they be of truth or not. We almost flock to the ability to point out what is wrong in someone else, and for the life of me, I can't figure out why except it's because we're not happy with ourselves in some way, shape, or form?
So how does someone who seems so confident continually display what concurrently seems as doubt in oneself. How do they seem that confident? Is it possible to be confident and still put others down? And if it is, then what is the need to lower someone else into a hole in the ground? What's the purpose?
Aahhh...I'm so frustrated. Many people (yes, I'm talking about girls) seemed as though they were one thing when I met them and they turn out to be something quite different as occasions arise and words fly. It makes you wonder who to turn to, who it's okay to talk with, who you can confide in. It also makes you wonder just how much you do the very thing that you don't like in that person that you're talking about. And then it makes you take it one step further and wonder what is being said about you. And then the insecurities arise again, and we're back at step one. How do you break the cycle?
3 Comments:
I really hate to say this way but I think you're being over sensitive about the basic nature of human beings.
You know that expression about people being basically decent? I't ain't true. People suck. We're small and petty, frought with evil qualities like greed and avarice. We destroy everything we touch from the planet to the animals to children. If aliens came down tonight and judged humanity you and I would be lumped in with the rest of 'em because it's in the blood.
Want to know how to stop it from welling up inside you and becoming one of "them"
Actively choose not to be that person.
You are the result of the choices you make every day. So is everyone else. Sometimes you choose to be the hero and sometimes you choose to be the villain. So does everyone else. I know it hurts to have your trust betrayed (if this is what you're talking about) but take the lesson with the pain. Keep your own counsel and realize that today's friend may be tommorow's enemy. Maybe that's Brooklyn Paranoia talking but sharing of yourself is like giving a gift. If the recipient can't handle it, you know never to give it that way again.
You do have a mean bone in your body. As well as an envious one and a bunch of other ugly ones. But you also have caring bones, loving bones and heroic bones. Deal with it. As far as being totally honest with your feelings goes, if you could do that, you'd successfully rid yourself of everyone you can't stand and surround yourself with like minded people. A neat trick if you could pull it off.
By the way, along with the ugly qualities you are lamenting, human nature also comes complete with things like lofty imagination and creativity, hope, joy, LOVE (which is there if you know to look for it), altruism, and a host of other things that make life beautiful and make you beautiful. Reflect on that at the end of the day and take joy in the gifts around you.
I really hate to say this way but I think you're being over sensitive about the basic nature of human beings.
You know that expression about people being basically decent? I't ain't true. People suck. We're small and petty, frought with evil qualities like greed and avarice. We destroy everything we touch from the planet to the animals to children. If aliens came down tonight and judged humanity you and I would be lumped in with the rest of 'em because it's in the blood.
Want to know how to stop it from welling up inside you and becoming one of "them"
Actively choose not to be that person.
You are the result of the choices you make every day. So is everyone else. Sometimes you choose to be the hero and sometimes you choose to be the villain. So does everyone else. I know it hurts to have your trust betrayed (if this is what you're talking about) but take the lesson with the pain. Keep your own counsel and realize that today's friend may be tommorow's enemy. Maybe that's Brooklyn Paranoia talking but sharing of yourself is like giving a gift. If the recipient can't handle it, you know never to give it that way again.
You do have a mean bone in your body. As well as an envious one and a bunch of other ugly ones. But you also have caring bones, loving bones and heroic bones. Deal with it. As far as being totally honest with your feelings goes, if you could do that, you'd successfully rid yourself of everyone you can't stand and surround yourself with like minded people. A neat trick if you could pull it off.
By the way, along with the ugly qualities you are lamenting, human nature also comes complete with things like lofty imagination and creativity, hope, joy, LOVE (which is there if you know to look for it), altruism, and a host of other things that make life beautiful and make you beautiful. Reflect on that at the end of the day and take joy in the gifts around you and the gifts you have to share.
Just my two cents.
Tommy X
I hope the L.A. scene isn't getting to you. I've read, in a book once, that the insults you pander at another individual are really the insult you say to yourself. The sub-consious mind ( I guess the ego.) isn't satisfied with it's individual self. It's just a manifestation of the layers of bad experiences stored in memory that just want to get out.
I'm probably not making any sense, but I never do anyway.
Stay true to yourself because the only person that makes you happy is you.
spydrquinn say's peace.
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