Last night, I ended up going to dinner with one of my good friends, Lori, who had traveled to Charleston last year for the 2003 Junior USA's. We lost touch for a bit this year, which sometimes happens during competition season. Basically, I run around like a chicken with its head cut off, and I can't eat out at all and I have to cart a gallon of water and a cooler containing at least four meals wherever I go. Plus, since I'm doing cardio two times a day and doing weights, it's basically impossible to fit in free time with friends. But Lori has been patient and very understanding and is used to this with me, so she just waits for when a show has ended, and then we spend some quality time together.

We went to The Keg Steakhouse in Frisco and ordered a ton of food! In fact, she and I have almost the same exact taste, so we ended up with the same entree: blue cheese filet. A medium rare filet mignon with a light blue cheese breading sitting on top of it and a huge baked potato filled with a three-cheese butter mixture was devoured in no time! And a humongous slice of warm chocolate cake with a light vanilla ice cream really hit the spot. I cleaned up the diet a bit today, relied on protein shakes and oatmeal with some fruit scattered in for much of the day. The cheat week has ended with a salad and coconut shrimp from Outback Steakhouse tonight, and I'm back to chomping on gum to fight the cravings.

Tomorrow will be the toughest day. I have a huge bar of chocolate sitting on top of the refrigerator (that's because it's too much of a hassle to get a step stool in order to reach the treat, and thus, I'll never cheat when I'm not supposed to), but I'm going to fight against eating anymore of it tonight and save it for after the August shoots in New York. It can be difficult to switch gears suddenly, though. One day, I have the freedom to munch on what I want, and the next day, I'm back to a regimented diet.

I'm treating my training differently this time around, though. For the next six weeks, I'm going to do everything instinctually. In the past, everything has been written down, planned ahead of time, geared towards a specific goal. I still have certain goals, but I have faith that my instincts will guide me in the right direction. So, for tomorrow's back routine, I'll walk into the gym, visualize the type of back I want to bring onto the stage next year, and then think of which exercises will work the best and which ones I'm in the mood for. The reps and sets will be determined by my energy level for the day and how well the workout is going. It's funny...I used to do this in college and after I quit powerlifting. Somehow, the shows came along and I lost touch with what I felt was best for my body.

I can already tell you my goals:

1) Bigger, thicker, rounder delts. I started to gain some size here, especially since the Emerald Cup, but I need even more. I'm very excited about working harder on this area of my body, for it is the most difficult for me to gain mass.
2) Wider lats, thicker overall mass in my back. I've always adored back day. Have always looked forward to it. This excitement will remain, and changes will be seen by next year.
3) Better quality muscle in the quads and better separation of the muscles. This is my most stubborn muscle group. I'm considering taking it to obedience school. It works for dogs, right? Why not for my quads? They just never listen to me. I tell them, down. They don't go down. They remain filled with fluid and they seem to grow if I just walk past the leg press machine. Frustrating!!
4) I want my glutes back! Y'all may or may not notice, but I've lost muscle in my glutes a bit and have more loose skin than I used to when I diet down. You know the Sir-Mix-A-Lot song, right? "I like big butts and I cannot lie!" Lol! Well, I'm proud to be the rightful owner of a big butt, and I plan on continuing to have my glutes be my signature on the stage.
5) Speaking of signature body parts, how 'bout them biceps? I'm going to see if I can add just a bit more size to that peak.
6) If the biceps are getting bigger, the triceps need to follow suit.
7) Abs must become a stronger bodypart. I will be changing ab training. I'm going to play around and see what works in the next six weeks and then continue focusing on them during off season. I was a little lax with them last year. No more of that!
8) Calves will still continue to grow. I can feel a vein in my right calf from time to time. I want it to pop out at some point when I diet down.

I do hope y'all will stay tuned. I'll keep track of much of my training on here and y'all will be the first to know of what shows I might be looking at next year. I'll be making that decision in the dead of winter. It's the very first time I've stepped off the stage one year and have not known exactly which shows I want to do in the following year. It's a bit scary but also liberating. I feel like I'm finally doing everything for me and not just trying to please a judging criteria that can't seem to make up its mind.

By the way, I had spoken with Amanda Dunbar briefly as I was waiting to get on stage Saturday evening at the Junior Nationals. She happened to mention that she felt bodybuilding was the place for me, that my genetics were geared more for the shape, musculature, conditioning, and flexing aspects of bodybuilding. I'll just state in a very quiet voice..."I'm thinking about it."

Jodi