It's all coming together! I leave very early tomorrow morning. It must have been a low carb day for me when I made that flight arrangement. I may as well not go to sleep tonight, for I'll have to be up at 4 a.m. to shower, do my hair, pack three days' worth of food, make sure I have everything, open up my carry on case five million times to be sure my suits and back up suits and make up and heels and Protan and sanity are all tucked neatly inside.

I got my hair cut and colored yesterday. It's a slightly different style than what I've worn in the past on stage. Very cute, very sophisticated, very classy. My hairdresser did kind of a bob cut that falls about two to three inches below my chin and the entire style is razor-cut, so the edges are jagged. Basically, I just use a flat iron to smooth it all out, part it either in the middle or on the side or use a zig zag cut--like I have in the past shows--and I'm done with my hair! She used four different colors: deep red chunks, caramel chunks, a touch of golden highlights to frame my face and brighten me up, and then the rest was colored a really rich dark brown that was pretty close to my original shade. She really outdid herself! I walked away from the salon feeling very pretty ("I'm so pretty, so pretty...let's all sing along...lol! NOT!).

And then I went and picked up my suits last night. Oh my goodness! I can't even describe the feeling I had when I looked at the one piece on me. My seamstress and I fashioned both suits after Jenny Lynn's suits that she wore for this year's Arnold. And I don't mean to brag or anything, but I personally love mine even more! Both are a rich emerald green in a plush velvet fabric and are covered in rhinestones! If and when I turn pro, these suits are grown up enough and elegant enough to make it onto a pro stage. They certainly cost a fortune, but I will feel so confident this weekend and next weekend! The only thing with the two piece is one side of the bottoms slips down about an inch, but every suit of mine does that. I have no hips, no curvature to keep anything up around my waist, so hopefully the number tag will hide the fact that the bottoms are slightly lower on one side at times while I'm on stage.

So...new hair, new suits, new nails and a French pedicure today, new changes to physique. What else to do but arrive in Connecticut, plop down on the hotel bed, sleep for awhile, get up Friday morning, begin the tanning process, head down for the registration meeting at 9 a.m., and then tan, eat, sleep, tan, eat, sleep, tan, eat, sleep (add in there: keep Michelle Bell calm; better yet, keep myself calm...lol!) and wait for Saturday morning to arrive.

It's just so amazing. Eight months since I last stepped on stage. Eight months of hard work, busting my butt in the gym. For the past six weeks, I have not had a single day of rest. It's cardio or weights or sprints or plyometrics or a combination of those every single day! I've stuck to everything on the diet. I've even cut down on my gum intake the last couple of days, cut down on my Splenda...been relegated to just three packets a day as opposed to the 10 to 12 I would usually inhale. Sodium will be dropped tomorrow (meanwhile, I'm lapping up the Dead Sea as we speak...lol!). I've only had bottled water for the past week and a half--as close to 2 gallons per day as I can get without creating a flood wherever I go. I think I'm going to request a Port-a-Potty for my next birthday; either that or a cathater (ewwww!). Strawberries were deleted from the diet yesterday. I had a bit of avocado yesterday and will have a serving of steak today, and then that's it. I think the flaxseed oil is giving me a few problems, so it's taking a leave of absence for a few days. It's just chicken, egg whites, potato, oats (the old fashioned kind, as always), broccoli, and asparagus. The egg whites will even begin to diminish by the time Thursday evening and Friday morning arrive. And I think I mentioned this already, but protein shakes were also dragged off the diet on Monday.

In essence, I feel good. I had a few rough days this week. A few crying episodes. A few, "I'm not ready; I look awful; I can't possibly step on stage looking like this." It's normal. The last week before a show, the moods and confidence levels travel the entire spectrum from "I hate myself and I'm fat and ugly" to "I'm going to smoke everyone and win this thing and be the next best thing since Monica Brant." (Okay, the last bit was...well...a bit too much, even for me! Lol!) But you get my drift, right? My body changes so readily, so quickly, and thus my attitude towards my physique changes just as rapidly. One wrong move, and Saturday could be a bust. I wrote in the news section of the public site about leaving footprints in the sand and having them washed away. Well, I kind of look at my physique as sand, and the weight training, dieting, and cardio work are my fingertips trailing through the sand, creating grooves and images. A slight shift in the atmosphere, a breeze, temperature drop or increase, a crashing wave, a few splashes, a passerby can all change or even obliterate the design in the sand. It's the same thing with my body. Not enough carbs, I turn flat, loose skin appears, and I look small and stringy. Too many carbs, I spill over, water seeps into the grooves, and my symmetry is distorted. Competitors walk a tightrope of sorts, and this can be very stressful. I am having to learn to deal with stress, to allow nature to takes its course, to let the chips fall where they may. I've done my homework; I know what to do these last few days, and once I step on stage, it's in the judges' hands. Maybe I'll come home with a trophy; maybe I won't. But an 15- to 20-inch statue isn't the only type of trophy that this world holds. My experience is worth much more!

I may have a chance to write in the journal one more time before I fly out, but if I don't, keep all fingers, toes, eyes, and whatever else (just don't tell me) crossed. And for those of you attending the show, definitely say hi! And thank you so much!

Jodi :)