Mother to Son

Well, son, I'll tell you:
Life for me ain't been no crystal stair.
It's had tacks in it,
And splinters,
And boards torn up,
And places with no carpet on the floor--
Bare.
But all the time
I'se been a-climbin' on,
And reachin' landin's,
And turnin' corners,
And sometimes goin' in the dark
Where there ain't been no light.
So boy, don't you turn back.
Don't you set down on the steps
'Cause you finds it's kinder hard.
Don't you fall now--
For I'se still goin', honey,
I'se still climbin',
And life for me ain't been no crystal stair.

--Langston Hughes

I should have turned to this poem last fall and winter when I was struggling with motivation, focus, and intensity; when I couldn't decide which way to turn and which path to take in my future goals and aspirations. The mother's words always lights a fire beneath me and propels me to want more, work harder, and achieve the best. And after watching the Democratic debate tonight on CNN, I'm reminded of how many people in America and beyond her borders struggle within their own lives and have it way worse than I do.

I moan and complain, gripe and groan of so many things in my life, and yet I made certain choices that set in motion certain events that I now conduct and of which I often find the negatives. To worry about how to make it through running over three miles after having low carbs is nothing compared to someone who worries about where their next meal will come from or how a child's education will be paid for or what will happen upon entering a hospital and being turned away because of lack of healthcare.

I know two items of discussion that are taboo involve religion and politics. I figure since religion was brought to light on the public boards with mention of Jews and Mel Gibson's newest film venture, I may as well let it all hang out and introduce politics. Let the sparks fly!

I didn't vote for George Bush. I didn't vote for Al Gore either. I was highly disappointed in both candidates last election season; actually, I was highly disappointed that this country couldn't come up with something better to grace our ballots, but that's the past...for the history books(literally). After watching the debate tonight, I am convinced that I will vote not just in the Democratic primary but also in the presidential election. A change is on the way, and I'm inspired by it, just like I've been inspired by Hughes' poem.

Education, health care, immigration laws, tax cuts, protection of Social Security, the situation with Iraq (and now Haiti) all need to be resolved, and I really believe that a ticket that includes Kerry or Edwards (or both, as the discussion has been raised of whether one will invite the other to run as vice president) will institute a new direction for America. Of course, as a former teacher, you can guess that I'm a Democrat. Now, I'm going to leave my opinion there. The rest can be discussed on the message boards (it'll test to see who actually reads this stuff that escapes my fingertips! Lol!), and I'll respond to comments and opinions and questions there. This can be a very fruitful discussion, and if you've had a chance to vote and want to explain your decision, by all means, add it in!

And along the idea of awareness of others and their situations, plights, and struggles, I'm curious as to what areas y'all think are in the most desperate need of volunteerism. My opinion is that of the public education, and this can be two-fold. Let me explain. There is the portion of public education in which students need extra attention from adults (and Senator Kerry had mentioned having a program where teenagers volunteer in At-Risk programs and give back to their communities and schools and have their in-state college education--all four years--completely paid for; I found this to be a highly interesting concept). This can come in the form of after-school tutoring, after-school supervised recreation, aid to teachers in the classroom during the school day, special events scheduled throughout the year dedicated to students who have applied themselves and proven their desire to succeed the most (not necessarily just A and B students, but all students who have made a 30% or more improvement in their scholastic development). The other part of the equation is in terms of teaching students to be proud of and respectful towards themselves. Nutrition, exercise, self-esteem and self-image courses and programs would all benefit elementary, middle, and high school students. When we take care of our youth, we improve our economy because we produce more productive and successful human beings who want to give back to society and grab onto dreams and make them reality.

I was lucky. Sure, I had a dysfunctional childhood. I don't think there's a single human being who hasn't. What parent is perfect? But my parents taught me that as long as I try my best, then that's all that matters. It's why I still work so hard in the gym and in my competitions. Each time I step on stage, I know I've done my best for that particular point in time. I can walk away happy. Sure, I might be upset in the short term because I'm walking away empty handed and still an amateur, but ultimately, I know I did the hard work my long term trophy are the lessons I've learned by not earning first place or a pro card on my first try. A thread on one of the Muscle Mayhem board asked what you would do differently. I don't know if I've said this before, but everytime I open my mouth to say what I'd do differently, I close it quickly because the awareness that my past makes me who I am today settles in. Every turn, whether right or wrong, led me down a certain path and took me to the present destination. If I went down a different road at some point in the past, I wouldn't be at this juncture today; I wouldn't be the same person I am today. And while I do deal with self-esteem and self-image issues, I am aware that I have a bright future ahead of me and am standing in a prime location today to reach it. That debate tonight helped to re-awaken me and to remind me that there are so many others who struggle in much worse situations. I suppose now the idea is to learn to be thankful for what you do have and examine how to give to others and help them reach their prime locations.

I hope this entry wasn't preachy; it was just what was on my mind. Before the weekend is out I'll return back to contest preparation stuff, but I had to get this out.

Happy Friday to all!

Jodi :)