Good morning! I was up at 4:30 a.m. doing 50 minutes of cardio, and now I'm supposed to go into the gym and do legs and more cardio. I have a shoot with Gene Carangal the end of this week and am going to the Southwest Bodybuilding, Fitness, and Figure show this Saturday to support a couple of friends who are competing, so I want to be in good shape for both of those events. But honestly, I'm dragging! I'm tired (sleepy tired) and just not motivated. I guess I wanted to put this in the journal for y'all to read to see that even competitors go through emotional ups and downs and sometimes don't feel like going into the gym. I'll end up going in and doing the workout, but it is a struggle today for some reason.

See, some days are harder than others. Most days I look forward to the workout and can't wait to get into the gym and push around the weights. This occurred on Saturday, which was a shoulders day. I lifted heavy, doing shoulder press with 30 pound dumbbells and rear delts with 22.5 pound dumbbells before doing one arm side delts with 17.5 pound dumbbells for sets of 15. My shoulders were too numb to be screaming after that workout! And I felt such exhiliration from it and didn't mind doing my 60-minute cardio session afterwards (the cardio sessions will drop in terms of time one this shoot is over).

But today, I'm just exhausted and drained--mentally and physically. So, as a competitor, I have to make a decision. Is it going to cause more harm to me to go into the gym, do a workout that doesn't benefit from 100% output and then risk injury or even worse, disappointment for not giving it my all, or will it be more disturbing to skip the weight session and then put a guilt trip on myself for not sticking to the schedule I set for this week. I am dressed--cut off UT sweats and a tank top--and my hair's pulled up in the usual ponytail so it doesn't get in my face while I proceed through jump squats and the like, so it would make sense to simply slip my Adidas tennis shoes on, grab my keys, and trot out to my car to head to the gym. And yet, I'm just three feet from my bed, which looks nice and soft and welcoming. Ohhhh, the dilemma.

But I'm going to do the right thing. I'm going to stop typing to y'all and turn off the computer and head into the gym. I'll let you know tomorrow whether I made the right decision.

Jodi